Far too many couples in our society have opted for divorce too soon and at too great a price. I am saying, however, that divorce should be the last possible alternative. I am not naïve enough to suggest that divorce can be eliminated from the human landscape. Through the years I have counseled enough divorced persons to know that while divorce removes some pressures, it creates a host of others. How did I let myself get into this mess?” However, six months after his marriage to Kelly, he was back in my office, complaining of his inability to get along with Kelly and her children. Michael had been divorced for three years at the time of our conversation. I now believe that I’m about to get my life back on track.” When I was going through my divorce, I never dreamed that I would be happy again. Kelly has two kids, and I think they’re great. We’re going to get married and I’ve never been happier.

Michael was all smiles when he said to me, “I finally met the love of my life. I find myself snapping at the girls when they don’t respond immediately to my requests.”Īnd what about the children who watch their parents divorce? In Generation Ex, author and child of multiple divorces Jen Abbas writes candidly, “As I entered adulthood anticipating my hard-earned independence, I was stunned to discover that my parents’ divorces seemed to affect me more each year, not less.” When I am at home, I seem to be more irritable. Now I have to work full-time, which gives me less time with the girls. When we were married, I worked part-time to help out with the bills. I still have all the responsibilities I had when we were married, and now I have less time and less money. “Our marriage was bad,” she said, “but our divorce is even worse. Kristin was sitting in my office two years after her divorce from Dave. Indeed, talk to most adults who have chosen divorce as the answer, and you will find the divorce was preceded by months of intense inner struggle, and that the whole ordeal is still viewed as a deeply painful experience. No one can walk away from a spouse as easily as he or she can sell bad stock. You may even have parented children together. So deeply were the two of you attracted to each other that you made a public commitment of your lives to each other, “so long as we both shall live.” Now you have a history together. A spouse is a person-a person with emotions, personality, desires and frustrations a person to whom you were deeply attracted at one point in your life a person for whom you had warm feelings and genuine care. I would get out before the stock fell further. When I listen to the deeply pained people in my office and at my seminars, my natural response is to cry, “Get out, get out, get out! Abandon the loser and get on with your life.” That would certainly be my approach if I had purchased bad stock. I wish that I could recommend divorce as an option.

Thus, it is no shock that our society has come to accept the concept of a “throwaway marriage.” If you are no longer happy with your spouse, and your relationship has run on hard times, the easy thing is to abandon the relationship and start over.

We sustain business relationships only so long as they are profitable to the bottom line. We even “throw away” unwanted pregnancies. We give our furniture to the secondhand shop not because it is no longer functional, but because it is no longer in style. Our car and tech devices quickly become obsolete. Ours has been called the “Throwaway Society.” We buy our food in beautiful containers, which we then throw away. Devotion from Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away by Gary Chapman

Bible study for couples